My Royal 40-something Hotness

The other night, for the first time in almost a decade and half, we watched our wedding video. Aside from the novelty of seeing what a videotape was, my kids were fascinated by seeing their mom as a real-life Cinderella. I always knew that I was a lucky guy, but when I compared the woman next to me on the sofa, to the bride on the screen, I was in awe. Aside from a different hairstyle, my wife has not changed in 17 years.

I’m sure that when she reads this article, she’ll insist that I get my head checked.

When she looks at her reflection, she sees many things that are not to her liking, but I think that she’s crazy! I find it exceptionally amusing to watch her get dressed each morning in front of the mirror, and change outfits at least six times until she finds the particular ensemble that meets her approval. Let me clarify one thing…. my wife has pretty good taste in clothes, and absolutely everything in her wardrobe gets a 5 star rating. When she changes multiple times, she tries to justify her need to change with a comment like: “this one makes me look fat”, “this one makes me look old”, “I feel bloated in this”,….. etc.

I think she’s nuts.

As a somewhat objective observer, I can attest that she rocked all six.


There might be very minor differences compared to her former 25 year old self. But as far as I am concerned, if anything, she looks better now.
At 25 she was awesome, but now?


As a 20-something, she frequently had to say: “Yo guys, I’m up here!”

Now as 40-something, she would love to get even half of that attention.

She doesn’t realize that she still gets it, and more!

Despite some of her joints creaking at times and needing reading glasses, the years have passed with little notice on her.

Over the past 17 years, she has not been to a gym even once, and the only diet that she has ever been on was following the birth of our second child. It so happened that it coincided with Heidi Klum giving birth and her fab walk on the Victoria Secret catwalk just one month later. I think that my wife felt a little internal pressure to catch up with Heidi’s super-human feat.

Knowing how anti-gym she is, I recently had a laugh when she went out and bought a new pair of Nikes, as well as yoga pants and a workout top. As usual, she looked great. However, knowing the real her, I found it so hilarious when she put on that outfit, that I could not help blurting out: “Hurry home honey, before someone mistakes you as an athlete!”. The look I got back in return told me that she didn’t think it was funny.

I think, that as women go from 20 to 30 to 40+, there is a psychological change. Often wrongly founded, in my opinion.

Some think that they are no longer as appealing as the gravity free, surgically enhanced, Photo Shopped models in MAXIM. Nonsense!

Sure those younger ladies can be super hot and provocative, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t anymore. At their age, you were likely able to turn as many heads as them. Even after a few years, as well as birthing and raising a few kids, you still do. Most importantly, over time, are you able to turn your mate’s head? Guys can ogle over the magazine models, just like you can over David Beckham or Chris Hemsworth. It means nothing.

When guys remember their peak years, they may recall their former girlfriends, and perhaps you as well, who used to put them near the center of their universe. Even with kids, this should still be the case.  Just as he should do the same to you.


Age is an attitude.

It is not excuse for baggy sweatpants and letting yourself go. The grim reaper is not there yet for quite some time.

Embrace your age positively, and make 40s the sexy that it should be!

Just like your stud is no longer like his former teenage self, why do you compare yourself to those who are half your age?

As a 20-something, many value their self-worth on how quickly they can get by the bouncer controlling the velvet rope.

In reality, that is a lack of self-confidence and a lack of self-esteem.

As one grows past that stage, only then can one reaffirm who they are, take pride in their accomplishments, and perhaps learn to ignore those who judge them.

Being sexy is not about mesh, crop tops and fake eye lashes.

It’s not about being a piece of meat. In case you have not noticed, meat comes with a “BEST BEFFORE” date. You on the other hand, have a “BEST AFTER” date.

If playing helpless and ditzy worked for you when you were younger, I can attest that it is most unattractive in a grown woman. Being strong, fierce, smart and witty is insanely sexy. A little playful sarcasm is awesome.

The sparkle in your eye is something that should never dissapear. If you had a hint of mischief before, you still should.

Confidence and success at whatever you do, turns heads.


Nothing ruins a good session of retail therapy more, than when a teenybopper sales clerk calls my wife “Madame/Ma’am”. To me that is silly. Over the years, my wife has climbed the corporate ladder from the lowest levels, right up to senior management. The livelihoods of dozens of families depend on her. She is well known within her industry, and has received awards for her accomplishments. Hell yeah, she deserves the recognition, so why the negative perception when, out of respect, someone calls her ”Madame/Ma’am”?

She is proud of her success (as am I) and it shows.

If she is no longer getting the catcalls, it is because too many look up to her. She is the boss-lady. She doesn’t demand respect, she earns it.

If the construction worker no longer whistles at her when she walks by, perhaps it is because he knows that he is wayyyy out of his depth. Over the years my wife has developed a little sass, and Mr. Blue Collar is likely intimidated by her, and knows that she might kick his a-s if he steps out of line.

Not to sound like a cliche, but “age is an attitude”. Don’t over complicate things, and don’t be over-critical of yourself. Your spouse probably never noticed, nor cared, about 1/4 of the things that you can find unsatisfactory with yourself. We do however, notice the attitude changes. How many times a day do you say the word “NO” about anything? I bet you can’t go 24 hours without saying the N-word. I am willing to wager big money that you were not half as negative back in your 20s. If you want to come across as younger, forget the plastic surgeon, and just start saying “YES” or “PERHAPS” or “I’LL THINK ABOUT IT” a little more often. I guarantee you that your significant other will be so stupefied, that they will run to check the liquor cabinet, as well as also verify if you are taking new meds.

Regardless of all of the corrective procedures in the world, the absolute most beautiful person, will still be unattractive if they still blurt out “NO” to everything.

unnamed-4EFFORT is another attractive trait. After a busy day at the office, and coming home to a few screaming little ones who need to be fed, bathed, and helped with their homework, curling up in your sweats on your side of the bed and vegging out with your iPad for a few hours of Netflix binging can be most enticing. Why not curl up in your mates arms, and watch Netflix together on the TV, while holding his hand or gently stroking the back of his neck? Should be just as relaxing (if not more). While essentially doing nothing, you are conveying a positive message.

Effort never goes out of fashion.


Make the 40s as sexy as they should be!

I would like to wish my Royal Hotness a happy anniversary! Muah!

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