19 Nov Single motherhood: My Life as a Circus Ringmaster

When I was a little girl, I was not a huge fan of the Circus.

I have been told that whenever my parents took me to see the circus I would cry and scream.  Now, I am all grown up, divorced, a mother of two girls, and quite frankly much of the time it feels as though I am the Ringmaster of a very active and busy 3 ring circus.

Isn’t life strange?

As a single mom, I have learned the delicate art of juggling.

I often feel as though I am a Professional Juggler – balancing various balls in the air while standing on one foot.  Maybe that is because life as I know it is very much like a circus.

The juggling has become second nature to me.  There is always something that has to be done, 6 places that need to be gotten to all at the same time.  As mothers we learn very early on how to multi-task – how to manage schedules that are over-flowing with non-stop excitement.  And the minute we feel comfortable with our family schedule, another ball is thrown at us and the juggling continues.

There are moments almost every day where I feel as though I am the circus Tight Rope Walker.

I seem to have to walk a very delicate wire high up in the air.  In these moments I need to use extreme caution in order to avoid a big fall.  The tight rope is obviously invisible, but the feeling of carefully negotiating the world around me is very real.

Some days I feel as though I am the circus Lion Tamer.

These are the days where I cautiously navigate the sea of moods and roars (mine included) that are present in a house filled with three very passionate and vocal females.  I feel pride in my daughters’ abilities to express themselves and their needs.  And of course, when all of our moods come at once the house can  feel as though it needs several lion tamers to calm things down.

Since both of my daughters are gymnasts our home is always the site of acrobatics, hand walking and trapeze artistry.  At any given moment one of my daughters can be spotted cartwheeling down the hallway or doing the splits.  It always amazes me that although they spend 6 to 10 hours weekly training for gymnastics there is always an abundance of acrobatic moves that take place at home.  Their strength and perseverance is remarkable!

Some of the best moments are when my girls and I are clowning around

. The laughter and silliness takes over and the three of us act as though we have recently graduated from clown school.  I treasure the moments when we find ourselves laughing so hard that we can’t stop – The times when we giggle about anything and everything.   Those are my favorite circus moments of all!

Over the past few years I have had to accept that the calm and organized environment that I once called home is now truly the Circus that I call my life.

And you know what?

I would not change any of it!

The reality is that as mothers we all at times can feel as though we have joined the circus.

I say, embrace it – because when the circus comes to town, to  your home, it is likely to stay for a while.  Take the time to learn how to juggle effectively, breathe your way through the stress of walking the tightrope, stare the angry lion in the face and only back down if you choose to, and cheer on your acrobats as they perform for you.

At the end of the day I am thankful for the noise and chaos and love that can be found inside the Circus that I call my life.

Xox,

Susan