02 Oct Surviving Single Motherhood with a Smile

I didn’t start off my parenting experience as a single mother.  I started things off by following a common path.  I got married, had two baby girls, and played the role of wife and mother.  I was married for close to 12 years before my husband left.  All of a sudden  I found myself carrying the new title of SINGLE MOTHER.   Quite honestly  it was never a title that I imagined having.  But there I was, a single divorced mother  with two children under the age of ten.    

How was I going to get through it?

Was I strong enough to weather the ups and downs of single parenting?

I have to say that my way of getting through most things in life is to put one foot in front of the other, smile ( even when it is VERY hard to do), and keep going.  That is the way that I have conquered these past three years.

Has it been easy all of the time?

NO!

Have there been speed bumps and mountains that I have had to climb?

YES!

Being a single mother has added countless responsibilities to the already overflowing list of MOM DUTIES.  It has been an exercise in being organized (which I suck at), handling the grunt work that comes with running a house (which I don’t always enjoy) and having to be the “bad guy” ALL OF THE TIME (which truly is not fun).

But regardless of the challenges that I have faced I count my blessings each and every single day!  I am able to feel gratitude for everything that I have as well as for everything that I don’t have.

On my journey through SINGLE MOTHERHOOD, I have learned many things, and have created a survival list of the most important things that I want to share with other single mothers out there.

Survival List For Single Mothers:

1. Never underestimate the importance of family and friends.  Let people help you and do not be shy to ask for or accept the help.
2. Learn and memorize the schedule for garbage pick-up, recycling, lawn watering, etc.
3. Get your children involved in household chores.  You cannot do it all by yourself!  No matter their age, there are small tasks that they can assist you with.  Kids love to help and love to feel needed.
4. Learn how to light your barbecues, change pot lights, dis-engage your electric garage doors and assemble items from IKEA.  There is nothing more rewarding and empowering than the feeling of accomplishing a task outside of your comfort zone.
5. Take an in-home day off!  Stay in your pjs all day with your kids and ignore all daily household responsibilities. Eat breakfast for dinner and have fun!
6. Keep daily routines consistent.  Kids thrive with routine and consistency.  Divorce can often cause children to feel unsure of what is going to happen next.  By keeping things consistent at home, you are helping your kids to feel secure and safe.
7. Take time for yourself!  Find moments, no matter how small, that fill your soul with pleasure and peace.
8. Get help if you need it!  A little therapy can go a long way to help anyone feel balance and gain inner strength.
9. Lose yourself in a great book or television series.  There is nothing better than being able to escape into the world of someone else’s pleasure, drama or adventure.
10. LAUGH!  Allow yourself the opportunity to be silly and to have fun!

These are some of the things that have truly helped me through my journey into becoming a Single Mama.  I hope that they can be helpful to any other women out there who are navigating the Single Mother Highway.

xox,

Susan