File 2016-04-20, 8 46 34 PM It’s no secret that I have a busy schedule. Just today a friend asked me to have lunch at the last minute and how I wished I could have jumped on that but I apologized and said let’s book a time in advance for next week. So with the Passover holiday approaching, I had to schedule some time in to do some cooking. (Thankfully) I am not hosting a Seder but I do have to prepare my share of dishes.

FullSizeRender-1Growing up, I didn’t always get a lot of positive reinforcement. When I was young, I longed to be acknowledged; to be praised and told that I was great or smart or funny. Despite this lack of affirmation, I still somehow managed to develop confidence and a strong sense of self. I learned to become my own cheerleader and to find validation from within.  I’m not exactly sure where this self-assurance came from, but I realized that being strong and fearless were my survival skills.

In our current society, there is huge emphasis placed on diversity, equality, and respect for differences. I wholeheartedly believe in all of it. In fact, I have built a career where I coach leaders on how to embrace this value within their corporations. We teach our children that they should be unique, we respect those who dare to break the mold, and we encourage language that avoids labels.

Twins have a connection. I am witnessing it every day. Yet, looking back on these past few months I am realizing that their bond started before they were even born. When I was 26 weeks pregnant, I went for a routine ultrasound and was told that twin A had very little amniotic fluid and she was not growing. They were unsure if she would survive that week.

hockey-mom When I was pregnant with my first child I was terrified. Once I got over the shock and the excitement began to settle in, I knew I wanted to find out the sex of my new baby. As much as I had hopes and dreams of tutus and ribbons (as many women do), I knew inside that I was going to be blessed with a boy. After all signs pointed to a healthy baby, this was of course confirmed. Okay, I thought, so it won’t be pretty in pink. Maybe next time.

I bat my eyelids and suddenly my daughter turned 7 months old. The rate at which time is marching is really quite mind-boggling, and when people tell me, “enjoy, it goes so fast”, they weren’t kidding! As I despondently packed up all her 3-6 month summer dresses and pink frills, I found myself thinking into the future… what will she be when she grows up? What will she be passionate about? How will she impact the world?

I just spent 48 hours on my own – no kids, ALONE…… As a single mother of two I rarely have any time without my kids.  I am the primary caregiver for my daughters.  In my world this means that they live with me full time and spend most of their time with me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.   However, it’s not common for me to have a weekend without my daughters being at home.

There are so many terms designated to parents who are overprotective of their children.  We have been labeled controlling, “helicopter parent”, “mama bear” and a new term I just read about…the “lawnmower parent”.  As I have been reading about all these terms I realized that not only do I fall under all these categories as a mother but they also apply to me as my role of a daughter.

My marriage is over…..what now? Is this a question that you would ever imagine asking yourself?  It certainly wasn’t for me. I never imagined that it would be ME.
I had never thought that my marriage would end and that I would have to go through the steps to a divorce.
I knew this was something that happened regularly, too regularly, but not to me.  I am someone who always believed that I would be in a long-term marriage – sure there are ups and downs in every marriage, but if you had ever asked me 5 years ago if I thought I would end up divorced, my answer would have been a strong and bold NO!

I cannot begin to tell you how many people have come up to me over the last 15 years and told me they think they have Alzheimer's Disease. People of all different ages, young and old, will say, "Trish, I can't remember where I put my keys, I think I am losing it"; "Trish, I walked into the kitchen and forgot why I went there";  "Trish, I lost my phone twice this week, but thank goodness I found it"; "Trish, what is wrong with me, do I have Alzheimer's Disease?"  The answer is 99.99% of the time "No".  I don't take these comments lightly, but lets not confuse what is normal memory loss with Alzheimer's Disease.

unnamed-4Today is Brandon’s 38th birthday. That is, it would have been Brandon’s 38th birthday…had he not gotten Leukemia…had he not died four years ago at age 34. I miss my love every single day. But it is on these anniversaries that his absence is that much more pronounced – the birthdays, the holidays and our family’s significant moments.

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A few weeks ago, my husband and I went to our first prenatal class.
It was mostly about relaxation techniques that could be used during labour, and that aspect of the class was very informative. There was, however, little information provided on drug-related pain relief like epidurals and the instructor seemed to discourage the use of any “interventions” that could ease pain and/or speed up delivery.  I left the class feeling judged and unsupported in my possible choices during childbirth.

When my husband and I met and fell in love, our cultural and religious differences had a definite impact on the evolution of our relationship.
I was a non-practicing Jew.  He was a semi-practicing Catholic, Filipino.  We realized family_blogreally early on that in order for us to thrive and grow as a couple, compromise would have to be at the root of what defined us.    It took lots of practice, several fights and a tremendous amount of effort, but I feel that we’ve really mastered this art and compromise now plays a HUGE role in how we are raising our son.

  In my private practice, I work with many couples who are struggling to improve their communication and closeness with their partner. They are often frustrated with their lack of together time but unfortunately have a difficult time prioritizing it. Somewhere along the way, between late night feedings, demanding jobs, housework and hockey practice, they lost their way.

I really love surprises, so my husband and I have decided not to find out our baby’s gender.
Given this unknown, people have been asking me whether I have a preference for a boy or a girl. Honestly I answer that I have none; all that I want after the journey it took us to get pregnant is a healthy baby. However, lately I’ve started to put those worries aside and imagine life as a mother. I’ve wondered: what are my expectations for this child? What kind of person do I want he or she to become?

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