Twenty one summers ago, I was 24 years old and working as a unit head at a Montreal day camp. One afternoon, at dismissal time, I was handed an envelope by a staff member. I often got notes from the parents of my campers at the end of the day, and I was busy, so I handed it off to one of the counsellors to deal with. He opened the envelope and quickly handed it over to me. “I think this is for you,” he grinned. I grabbed it, read it, and started to cry. It was a marriage proposal and a ring. Seconds later, my then-boyfriend Lee popped out of the bushes, trailed by a friend with a video camera, and asked if I would be his wife.

The other night, for the first time in almost a decade and half, we watched our wedding video. Aside from the novelty of seeing what a videotape was, my kids were fascinated by seeing their mom as a real-life Cinderella. I always knew that I was a lucky guy, but when I compared the woman next to me on the sofa, to the bride on the screen, I was in awe. Aside from a different hairstyle, my wife has not changed in 17 years.

WEDDINGIt has been coming up a lot recently that most marriages will not only likely end in divorce (as I have seen often) but that many people are not even interested in the commitment entirely. I was not always of the mindset nor was it a goal of mine to get married when I was younger, not even in my early 20’s. Truly, I had other priorities but I was not against marriage – just had no clue if it would happen to me. Once I hit 30, many of my friends began making it more of priority to find “Mister Right” and take that walk down the aisle. Although I was in no way an expert on the topic, many friends came to me seeking advice on their relationships – what I always said was to make sure love all of him and not just parts, because you can’t fix a man. To recognize that things change but can you change with them and finally, remember why you fell in love. It seemed like good advice. Many of those friends are still married.

My marriage is over…..what now? Is this a question that you would ever imagine asking yourself?  It certainly wasn’t for me. I never imagined that it would be ME.
I had never thought that my marriage would end and that I would have to go through the steps to a divorce.
I knew this was something that happened regularly, too regularly, but not to me.  I am someone who always believed that I would be in a long-term marriage – sure there are ups and downs in every marriage, but if you had ever asked me 5 years ago if I thought I would end up divorced, my answer would have been a strong and bold NO!