17 Sep “WE” and worse….online dating

Picture this…

You are enjoying a nice Venti green tea latte from Starbucks, catching up on latest fashion trends and hot topics in Cosmo when you get a text message from a friend that reads,

“What are you doing tonight?”

Just some simple reading, keeping up on trends and such!

You quickly dog-ear the page you were on, close the magazine and respond excitedly,

“NOTHING! Why what’s doing???”

And then, the dreaded WE is uttered.

“We’re going to a movie, wanna come?”

Did this person really just ask me if I want to join her and her boyfriend at a movie? Am I a third wheel?

Thanks but no thanks. And so, I retreat into my chopped off sweatpants-turned-shorts pajamas and Backstreet Boys shirt and call it a night.

Well, not really!

I don’t necessarily go to bed, there are some nights I peruse the online dating sites I signed up with ever so long ago. It’s not that I really enjoy doing it, it’s sometimes merely to pass the time.

For those of you who have never had the fortune and/or privilege (sense the sarcasm please!) of clicking through profile after profile of people who seem to be genuinely interesting online, let me paint you a more realistic picture.

A nice pair of wheels and me, the random third wheel at the front!

1) Many of these Joe Shmoes do not post a picture of themselves on their profile. 

This is what I’d see, NO PICTURE! Really? You actually do not have a picture of yourself? LAME!

Believe it or not, one guy actually told me, “I don’t post my picture on these online dating services because I want to keep it a secret from my work”. Give me a break!

2) I was actually invited to a gang-bang once.

I was truly honoured until I found out that two of my girlfriends were invited to the same gang-bang, talk about rude! I thought I was special for a second there.

3) Finding a nice Jewish guy is hard!

My mom always jokes that she wants me to find a nice Jewish doctor or lawyer (if you say it with a typical Jewish mom’s accent it’s much funnier). I’ll take an accountant at this point!  

In all seriousness, online dating is not all it’s cracked up to be. At least with the old fashioned blind date, there is a good chance the person who set me up with John Doe knows he ain’t no chainsaw killing punk. Am I right?

I will leave you with one tip. Please do not say the following to your single friends:

• How are you still single? You’re so great.
• It will happen when you least expect it.
• You should try online dating. My friend met his/her husband/wife online.

Check out BuzzFeed for the rest of those ohhhh-so-annoying sayings single people hate hearing!

Until next time when I write about finding a date for a function, keep fit and have fun!

Video courtesy of The Big Bang Theory from CBS found on YouTube.com